I’ve put off writing as if not putting the words out here would change what is happening.
I still believe that my disease was in a state of remission, and I do believe that I will achieve it again. When I saw my rheumatologist back in September I had no symptoms of my disease and my inflammation markers were normal. I had experienced no pain since July and didn’t start having any symptoms until the middle of October. My doctor said remission could be months or could last for years. And I said that I would ride this wave as long as I could.
I have been trying to ignore the signs but as they increase it’s become difficult.
Maybe my body held out through all the stress of bringing my oldest daughter home from Colorado, my son going to boot camp, and my youngest daughter starting high school and now it’s at a point where it can’t do it anymore.
I need to see the positives as doing anything else would take me down a rabbit hole that I have no intention of going down.
A huge positive is that I’ve started a new job which I firmly believe is a gift. Being in a place of health and fitness where I can encourage others is my heart and passion. I’m grateful every day for this opportunity.
Even though it’s painful to walk right now I’m thankful that I have legs to do so. Even though my hands are swollen, and small every day tasks hurt I’m grateful that I can still grab the weights after work, push through a workout, and get a little reprieve from the pain when I’m done. Even though the fatigue is draining, I am energized at work and know that I can make a difference to others who suffer more than I do.
I need to remember that I must listen to my body and rest when I need to.
So for now I am waiting for our insurance to approve the next therapy and I’ll begin taking meds to slow down the disease progression.
This is just a bump in the road. #makeitcount #rasucks #rheumatoidarthritis